Moderna Dumps 10% of Staff: Vaxxed, Waxed, and Now Whacked! 💅

Honey, Moderna is cutting jobs faster than a drag queen sheds glitter on a Saturday night! The biotech giant announced it's slashing 10% of its global workforce, blaming slumping COVID-19 vaccine sales. Apparently, we've all moved on from panicking over variants to panicking over which Beyoncé Renaissance tour outfit to recreate. But let's be real, haven't we all had enough needles for a lifetime? Still, this news has us feeling a type of way. We’re hoping our vaxxed and waxed fam will land safely on their feet – because unemployment is so not a lewk. While Moderna CEO Stéphane Bancel talks about "market dynamics," we're just trying to manifest financial stability for our community. We served face, got jabbed, and now we deserve a soft landing, not a pink slip. Somebody call RuPaul, because this situation needs a serious dose of charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. We're sending love and light to all the affected workers. Remember, resilience is in our DNA, and we'll bounce back fiercer than ever. Yas, queen! Crystal Methyd (she/her), local drag queen and bio queen extraordinaire: "Oh honey, this is worse than a ripped stocking on opening night! Hopefully, everyone lands on their feet, preferably in a pair of sparkly stilettos." Bobbie Pinz (they/them), non-binary bartender and mixologist: "This is giving me major anxiety. My bar tab is already high enough, and now I'm worried about my future. Someone pass the tequila." Dr. Angel Electra (she/her), local LGBTQ+ health advocate and Director of the Fierce & Fabulous Community Center: “While this news is concerning, our community is strong and resourceful. We will continue to support each other and ensure that everyone has access to the resources they need to thrive.” Story by Gia Gunn from LGBTQNN, reporting with pride. Shantay, you stay!